I’m driving down a 4-lane, divided highway. The speed limit along this stretch of road is 65, which means that, under ideal circumstances, I’m usually cruising along at 70â€“75. On this particular evening, though, I’m still in the very tail end of rush hour. Traffic is moving along, but it’s congested enough to slow everyone down a little.
I’m driving in the left, or passing, lane. There is a FedEx Ground 18-wheeler directly in front of me, and we are steadily passing slightly slower traffic in the right lane. I am coming up on a FedEx Express 18-wheeler on my right (it’s the time of day when all the trucks are heading to the airport) when I see a white SUV coming up fast behind it. Of course, there isn’t enough room for him to move left and thread the needle between YOU FUCKWAD! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT!
I hit my brakes. I hit my horn. The driver of the SUV flips me off, then aggressively gestures that I should move into the right-hand lane.
I double-check my speed, and see that this interloper has caused me to slow my speed to 61. I double-check reality and see that the 18-wheeler is still in front of me (well, now it’s in front of the SUV), and there continues to be NOWHERE FOR THIS DILLHOLE TO GO. For the next three miles, this guy is trapped between me and an 18-wheeler. At that point, I’m exiting the highway, and now I’m able to zip into an open lane… right next to this twit… and flip him off, good and long. RIGHT BACK AT YA, JACKASS.