Bowling, bruising, and bass drums

1. Now that we’re right at the tail end of my bowling league’s “season,” I am finally improving. I’m still not near my personal goal of a 150 average, but I’m gaining on it. However, we’re taking a hiatus at the end of August. Not sure when, if ever, we’ll join a new league. Our best player has had his fill of crowded, noisy, amateur-riddled leagues (self excluded, I’m pretty sure).

2. While bowling tonight, I started to choke. Not figuratively; literally. I’m still not sure on what, as all I had was a slushee which shouldn’t have obstructed my airway, but there you have it. I was coughing (exhale) but couldn’t take any air in (inhale). Gasping and panicked, I tapped Jay on the shoulder. He turned around, assessed the situation, and sprang into action. He immediately got into position to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on me, except for two things: I didn’t have the presence of mind to stand up, and Jay didn’t actually know what he was doing. (NOTE: If you find yourself in a similar situation, it turns out that the Heimlich Maneuver is no longer the recommended protocol. First on the list is “encouraging the victim to cough,” which I was already doing, and second is a series of hard smacks on the back. No, seriously.) Jay made a valiant effort, though, and through the chaos we managed to hobble our way through a successful rescue. Like an old lawnmower, I sputtered a bit and started back up, and then set myself to calming the people around me. I’m okay now, thank you. No, really, I’m okay. Yup, everything is okay. Thanks. No, now I’m just coughing. Regular old coughing. The guy at the next table, who asked three times if I was alright, then said, “I’m a First Responder, so I wanted to make sure.” Well, sir, how about jumping in there when you saw that Jay was winging it? THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN HELPFUL. At this point, oblivious to all that had happened, Jay’s brother (a registered nurse) came back to the table. As soon as he found out what occurred while he was outside, he fell into a pile of apologies. “You were choking?! But that’s my bag! I could have helped! I’m so sorry. Are you okay? How about now? Now? Now? What about now?” Unfortunately, laughing hurts a bit, now that my ribs are somewhat bruised. Being able to breathe at all, though: priceless.

3. Full disclosure: I know this guy. That doesn’t make his drumming any less spectacular. Watch it, and share the link with your friends. It’s under two minutes long. Around 1:20, his arms become a blur.