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You’ll be a dentist
You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane
– Little Shop of Horrors

I have an appointment with a new dentist on Monday. I am scared. Yes, I am a rational adult, and not a child… but I have had either terrible luck with dentists, or the dental profession is horribly under-regulated. I have written about my previous experiences in the dentist’s chair, and the odds are stacked against me. On the other hand, my medical insurance runs out at the end of October, and I know that I need to get done the work that I’ve been putting off. Even my teeth are telling me, now.

So, if any of all y’all have any old, unused Valium that you can get to me before 2pm, I’d really appreciate it.