(To be screamed quietly, in a pitch that only dogs can hear.)

I don’t believe that anyone who reads my blog has actually met my mysterious friend Jason, but you all kindly take my word for it that he and I go Way Back. (He and I do indeed go Way Back. The only person I’ve known longer is Mandy.)

I think I’ve written about Jason before. I hope I have, anyway. He has been impressing me with his creativity since the day I met him. Which I believe I have just established was A Long Time Ago. It seems to me that there is nothing that man can’t paint/sculpt/build/illustrate. I’ve been a fan since the days of his dorm room Fome-Corâ„¢ ceiling fly. I have three of his shirts, one of his prints, and photos of him from when he was 19 (no, you can’t see those). My iPhone’s Gelaskin will be ordered soon.

Jason’s bio, as lifted entirely from ToyCyte‘s interview with him:

Armed with a youthful, overactive imagination, Jason Freeny creates smart, intricate illustrations that tickle the deviant intellect through a hard graphic, pop iconography and wit. Jason has worked with LEGO, MTV and Nickelodeon and has been featured in the pages of Hi-Fructose, Juxtapoz and Heavy Metal. His anatomy illustrations have circulated the Web from BoingBoing to Nerdcore. You can pick up one of his print pieces here, some wearable art here, and convenient exoskeletons for all your gadgets here. He has, on the horizon, several magazine pieces, a couple top secret product projects and a collaboration with the United Arab Emirates.

This morning, it was officially announced: He has his sticky fingerprints all over Toy2R at ToyFair 2009. Article here. Photos here:

Step Out In An Olds

You’re certain to be the center of attraction… when you step out in an Olds.
For owning an Olds sets you apart as someone special. And naturally so.

Wow, look at that fabulous 1957 Oldsmobile Golden Rocket 88 Holiday Coupé! Cars don’t come in that size any more. Or that color, which is too bad. A Prius or a Smart might only be the size of this car’s hood, but they’d still look awesome in this shade of mint sherbet green. Enjoy the sculptured lines of this car. The tasteful use of chrome. The beautiful floor-to-ceiling, wall-size windows of that Barbie Dream House. And look how happy the party-goers are!

Wait a minute.

What the hell are these people doing? Ms. Britches and I tried to piece it all together. The pretty blonde gal in the lilac dress? She just hit her knee, hard, against that giant, steel car door. But she’s so drunk as to think it’s funny (until that bruise shows up tomorrow). The two men in sportcoats are checking the time, desperate to get their wives home before they drink even more, because these women have to be in good enough shape to make a fresh, delicious pot of coffee in the morning, as well as eggs and bacon and toast. It just won’t do, to have the girls moaning and groaning with hangovers. And how about that amputee hunchback lurching toward the car? She’s… Um she’s… Well, we couldn’t decide what the hell she’s doing.

What do you think?