Feeling Stabby

I apologize for not writing more frequently. It’s my annual Halloween Madness combined with my free-time-management inadequacy. You may have notice that I’ve relisted some old items, but haven’t added anything new to the shop in a couple of weeks. I promise, I have a pile of stuff to list! Some housewares, more purses, and a couple of lovely wedding dresses that may get blog posts all of their own.

But right now: I need to vent. Because I am so. Effing. Frustrated.

By October of 2006, I had been with T-Mobile for 8 years. Technically, I started with VoiceStream, and when T-Mob bought them out, well, there I was. And it was good. VoiceStream had the occasional billing issue, but once T-Mob came in, the glitches stopped. The service was good, I only dropped calls in one geographically wonky spot, everything was fine. But in 2006 I wanted a fancy new phone, and the incentives with new carriers were better than the incentives to stay with T-Mob, so I decided to switch. Enter: Verizon Wireless. I signed up for a first-month-free dealio that included a new RAZR phone. I hated the phone, but more importantly, I hated the Web site. This may not be a big deal to some people, but I pay my bills online. I monitor my account online. I download ringtones online. And Verizon’s site seemed to be set up to discourage all of this. My paperwork stated that I wouldn’t be locked into a contract if I canceled within two weeks, so I canceled at 12 days, returned my phone, and switched to Sprint.

Precisely two weeks after initially signing up for a first-month-free, no-contract-yet deal with Verizon, they send me an e-bill for $254.29, my “early cancellation” fee. I remember that the phone maze required to reach a live representative further assured me that leaving had been the right decision, but to Verizon’s credit, the phone call to straighten out that issue was otherwise forgettable. I must have pointed out that I’d canceled before being locked into a contract, they reviewed the paperwork and agreed, and that was that. Done with Verizon forever. Woo!

Fast forward three years: This past Monday, I rec’d in the mail a bill for $21.11 from a collections agency on behalf of Verizon Wireless. This is obviously an error, so I called the number on the letter, which connected me to a recording telling me to either pay or dispute the claim in writing. Well okay, I will, but in the meantime, let me call Verizon. In the three years since my last call to Verizon, they’ve done nothing to eliminate the phone maze. After answering the same set of automated questions twice, I finally reached a human. Who couldn’t find my history in the network until I explained the two-week, no-contract situation. With that, he was able to locate me. And then explained that he isn’t allowed talk to me about my account, because it’s been sent to collections. He offered to give me their phone number. I explained that it’s a recording, but he said no, this is a different phone number. For Verizon’s own internal collections department. That they can talk to me. It then took him four minutes to “find” the phone number, but he finally did. I wrote it down. I called.

It’s a Verizon recording that automatically connects me to the collection agency recording.

Stab stab stabby stab.

Grammar Police! Sly, Family Stone Forgotten!

This is driving me crazy. I often see individual people do it, but in the last week I’ve spotted the error on in-store signage at King Soopers,* on a catalog insert from Real Goods, and just now in a banner ad for Philadelphia® brand cream cheese. When 100+-employee-companies do it, that’s just irresponsible. Not only did someone have to type it out, but I’m guessing that in each of these cases, at least three people read and approved it. That’s a minimum of four employed adults in each instance who have forgotten a lesson taught in grade school.

Everyday. Every day. They are two different things, with two different uses. Everyday, as one word, is an adjective. It should be followed by the noun it’s describing. Everyday occurrence. Everyday tasks. Everyday people (yeah, yeah). However, if you’re writing about something you do/have/get every day, it’s, well, every day. Two words. Handy hint: If your sentence or phrase could be rewritten as “every single day” without sounding awkward, that’s your clue to use two words instead of one. Everyday Low Prices, but Low Prices Every Day. Not “Low prices everyday.” Not “Save up to 70% everyday.” Not “Philly makes it easier everyday.”

The Oxford American Dictionary puts it very neatly: “The adjective everyday, ‘pertaining to every day, ordinary,’ is correctly spelled as one word ( : carrying out their everyday activities), but the adverbial phrase every day, meaning ‘each day,’ is always spelled as two words ( : it rained every day).”

Sometimes I’m right, but I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the baker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I’m in

I am everyday people
Yeah, yeah

There is a blue one who can’t accept the green one
For living with a fat one trying to be a skinny one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on, and so on and scooby-dooby-doo

Ooh, sha, sha
We got to live together

I am no better, and neither are you
We are the same, whatever we do
You love me, you hate me, you know me and then
You can’t figure out the bag I’m in

I am everyday people
Yeah, yeah

There is a long hair that doesn’t like the short hair
For being such a rich one that will not help the poor one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby-dooby-doo

Ooh, sha, sha
We got to live together

There is a yellow one that won’t accept the black one
That won’t accept the red one that won’t accept the white one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on, and so on and scooby-dooby-doo

Ooh, sha, sha
I am everyday people

*A large supermarket chain. You may know them in your area as Kroger or City Market or Ralph’s or Dillon’s or Smith’s or Fry’s or Baker’s or… the list goes on.