along the side of the road

As Scott and I are tooling down the highway on our way to work Monday morning, we see a guy up ahead, standing next to his SUV, which is pulled over on the shoulder. Scott says, “That guy is peeing.” “No. He wouldn’t right there. (Guy, who was standing in a traditional peeing stance, but couldn’t possibly have been peeing RIGHT THERE, now very clearly zips up and starts to walk back to the driver’s side of his truck.) DUDE. There is a giant tree TWENTY FEET away.” Scott chuckles. “I bet he feels MUCH better now.” “I don’t get it! I mean, this isn’t exactly in the middle of nowhere. The exits are only a MILE apart. I can SEE Target from here!”

I still don’t understand.

5 Replies to “along the side of the road”

  1. Let’s see: maybe he has an enlarged prostate and had to go, had to go, had to go right [then]. Still, a tree twenty feet away. . . a female couldn’t have gotten away with that. With my luck, a trooper would have come along and I would have been arrested for indecent exposure or something.

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  2. I’m just jealous.
    All those times we’ve been out on the trail with other jeepers and I hold it til my face is blue and my teeth are floating simply because there is no private place to do my business. I want one of those convenient directional hoses that guys have.

    Seems like an odd reason to have penis envy doesn’t it?

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  3. Oh man… this one time I was leaving Long Beach… on my way to Wyoming and I had spent the night before drinking my ass off… anyway, I woke up he next morning, pretty hung over so I stop and get this huge coffee, thinking I’d be out of the city by the time the high level alarm hit…
    Needless to say I hit the Sunday traffic and pulled the same thing that this guy did on the side of your road…
    In Riverside California…
    I could see 4 Targets, 17 Starbucks, and 3 malls from where I was standing… and the traffic was passing at about 5 mph…
    So, I just put my hands on my hips, looked into the distance, and pretended I was a Super Hero. Instead of my cape fluttering in the breeze I was pissing on the side of the freeway, but other than that part… my pose was flawless!

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