Welcome. Now leave.

Messy Stuff: My life is a bit upside-down right now. That’s all you need to know, but it’s why I’ve been generally absent from all of my usual online activities. And from a bunch of in-person stuff too. Now go away.

Oh, wait. I invited you here by writing this. Okay. Well, then. Umm…

One Thing: The catalog project that a friend and I have been contracted for is finally reaching the point where enough copy is written and photography is completed that the thing is starting to look darn good, if I may say so. Many-many-many thanks to my partner-slash-boss, who is so very skilled at Tetris-ing seemingly impossible demands into visually stimulating layouts. Also, we did three straight days of studio photography with about 300 babies/toddlers (okay, more like 19) and I didn’t break out in hives. Also, I learned that I am damn good at putting together flat-pack furniture. I suppose it comes from years of decorating my living spaces on a college student’s budget, which was all I had to work with even many years out of college. Perhaps my next tattoo should be of a set of Allen wrenches (hex keys to some of you).

Another Thing: I’m still toying with the idea of selling off my shop‘s inventory to any interested vintage vendors. Or of hoarding what I have, buying (with what money?) as much as I can get my hands on, and opening a brick-and-mortar location (also, with what money?). Which is 13 shades of crazy, but finding meaningful full-time employment working for someone else has been, let’s be generous and say: difficult. What I would love is to work at a vintage store, if it would pay enough to cover my living expenses. Which are pretty low, if I don’t maintain a savings account or 401k or, you know, eat.*

Also: I promise that I have more fun stuff to list in the shop as soon as I am no longer Trapped Under Something Heavy. Thank you for your patience, and let me know if you’re looking for anything specific. I may have it in my unlisted inventory, you never know. Well, you know when you ask.

And Then: I never intended to leave Twitter for so long, but I was surprised by how much I don’t miss it. I still plan to come back, but with a greatly thinned Follow list. As soon as I figure out how to do that, because I only follow accounts that I actually care about in the first place. Some of you need to shut the hell up a bit, though. A good copy writer once told me, “pretend every word costs a dime.” Which is a bit of advice that, if you read my blog posts (and you do, obviously, because you’re reading this) you know that I myself often ignore.

For Drewseph: Hi! Halloween is coming. Which means that Halloween Costuming Blog Posts are coming. Plotting is afoot, and a couple of preliminary purchases have been made, but that particular plan may be out the window already. Time will tell.

When All Of A Sudden: It is entirely likely that a certain red (mostly) headed friend will come over today to help me re-dye my horrifically ignored hair, which has been neither cut nor colored since my beloved Lacey worked her magic on me for Viva. Which, if you don’t recall, was the first weekend in April. Do the math. It’s not pretty.

Th-th-th-that’s all Folks. See you soon. Maybe.

____________

*Cheese, I love cheese, rahhlly I do. And I love cheese that costs $24.99/lb. although I don’t BUY cheese that costs $24.99/lb. Not while I’m so precariously underemployed, I don’t.

Ah, Bucket

I don’t read Maggie Mason. Do you hear that, Universe? Here is a crafty, educated, independent, liberal woman who DOESN’T READ MIGHTY GIRL. I have nothing against Maggie, it’s just that, in an ever-increasing world of Well-Written Blogs, I can’t read everyone. And, since I don’t have a 2-year-old or live in San Francisco, Mighty Girl is not always relevant to my life.

Why the preamble? Because I only stumbled upon Maggie’s list of 100 Things To Do a freaking year after she’d written it. And I thought about making a list for myself, but Item Number One would have to be “Make list of 100 things to do before I die” and I’d probably never get around to crossing that one off. Besides, I’ve already been feeling a bit “what’s my point” lately, so I’ve decided to come about this from the opposite direction:

25 Things I Would Already Have Crossed Off My List If I’d Bothered With A List In The First Place (in no particular order, other than the order I remembered them in, and some of them happened more by chance than desire, but we can’t always pick our good fortune.)

1. Live in NYC
2. Get tattooed
3. Visit Europe (I can now cross through that three times, and I promise I’m not done)
4. Pick up and move halfway (actually, more) across the country with no friends, family, or job waiting for me
5. Buy a new car, like NEW new, not new-to-me new
6a. Go to art school
6b. Actually make my living at it
7. Own a computer, and a COLOR monitor (I am old enough for this to have been, at one time, pure science fiction)
8. Fly in a Cessna
9. Eat a crêpe in Paris
10. Watch the sun set at Cape May
11. Visit the Statue of Liberty
12. Go to the observation deck at the World Trade Center
13. Learn to play an instrument (I never claimed to play it well)
14. Stand underneath the Eiffel Tower
15. Drink a beer at a sidewalk cafe in Amsterdam
16. Take a Duck tour through Boston
17. Buy Sky Sox season tickets
18. Make a decent pie crust from scratch
19. Watch the vintage car races at Lime Rock
20. Zoom through Harriman State Park in a Mercedes 190SL with the top down (bonus points to the cop who pulled us over for NOT ticketing us, although we were very much speeding, and the FAIRLY EXPENSIVE car was not registered in either of our names)
21. Dip my toes in both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans
22. Shop at Harrod’s
23. Tour a real castle (I’ve done this a few times, actually)
24. Eat a slice of Black Forest cake IN the Black Forest
25. Watch a ballgame at Fenway Park

In keeping with the theme of the anti-meme, you are hereby not allowed to post your own list. Ha! But I encourage everyone to think about all the things you’ve accomplished that other people may only dream of.

Mrs. Blandings

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House is not my favorite movie. It’s not included in my admittedly small personal library. But there is one scene which, due in no small part to the nature of my “day job,” is very near and dear to my heart.

Jim Blandings, feeling the constraits of a small, New York City apartment on his growing young family, decides to move them all to a more spacious spread in rural Connecticut. Jim’s wife, Muriel, is in charge of the decorating.

In my favorite scene, Muriel Blandings is discussing with the painter her color choices for the walls, as workers scurry about in the background. This is the dialog between Mrs. Blandings, the painting contractor, Mr. PeDelford, and his painter, Charlie:

Mrs. Blandings – Now, Mr. PeDelford, we’ll discuss painting.

Mr. PeDelford – Okay.

Mrs. Blandings – I had some samples. Here we are. Now, first, the living room. I want it to be a soft green. Not as blue-green as a robin’s egg.

Mr. PeDelford – No.

Mrs. Blandings – But not as yellow-green as daffodil buds. Now, the only sample I could get is a little too yellow. But don’t let whoever does it get it too blue.

Mr. PeDelford – No.

Mrs. Blandings – It should be a sort of grayish yellow-green. Now the dining room, I’d like yellow. Not just yellow. A very gay yellow. Something bright and sunshiny. I tell you, if you’ll send one of your workmen to the grocer for a pound of their best butter and match that exactly, you can’t go wrong.

This is the paper we’ll use in the hall. It’s flowered. But I don’t want the ceiling to match any colors of the flowers. There are some little dots in the background, and it’s these dots I want you to match. Not the little greenish dot near the hollyhock leaf, but the little bluish dot between the rosebud and the delphinium blossom. Is that clear? Now, the kitchen’s to be white. Not a cold, antiseptic, hospital white.

Mr. PeDelford – No.

Mrs. Blandings – A little warmer, but still, not to suggest any other color but white. Now, for the powder room in here, I want you to match this thread. And don’t lose it. It’s the only spool I have and I had an awful time finding it. As you can see, it’s practically an apple red. Somewhere between a healthy Winesap and an unripened Jonathan. Oh, excuse me. (leaves to speak to another contractor)

Mr. PeDelford – You got that, Charlie?

Charlie – Red, green, blue, yellow, white.

On every one of the press checks I go to, it’s my job to KNOW color. I have been playing with Color-Aid swatches and Pantone books since I was a toddler. So, when I order a RED dress from eBay and it shows up RUBY, don’t think I won’t say something. When my beautiful, Stealth Gray Pearl car is repainted some custom mix that a lazy painter thought would be close enough… it isn’t. When my Persimmon and Periwinkle tattoo comes out Persimmon and Blue, I’m going to bitch about it. The differences might be subtle to most people, but to me, it’s like night and day. This isn’t to say that I’m GOOD at color. If I don’t have my swatch in front of me, it can be a nightmare for me to match it. Some folks have a real knack for putting a color to memory, but I’m the sort who is STILL trying to find “the right pink” to match a dress I bought a year ago. And while, in many cases, “close enough” is, it isn’t where that dress is concerned. In this case, I’m trying to learn a lesson oft repeated to me by my friend Mary Jo: “It doesn’t have to match, it just has to go.” (Meanwhile, people stop me on the street when I’m “daring” enough to wear yellow shoes with an all black-and-white outfit.)

So, what goes with this lovely new vintage number that I brought home, again at half-price, from the thrift store yesterday? It’s what I’d call a Sky Blue; not as green as a Robin’s Egg…

As usual, more info if you follow the link.